News ---- React!!!

Does anyone else here get really angry after reading the news? I do! Each headline makes me a little more angry than the one before! How do we stay shut and keep taking all of it in everyday? How do we not react? How do we go about our lives everyday completely blind to all the misery, pain and despair around us and yet swallow the news of corruption, rape, bribery, army? I want to fund a child's education.. and I will once I start earning.. but its one child, one family and there are billions out there so totally helpless.. and here we read news of scams, corruption the government spending 10.4 billion dollars to get 126 combat aircrafts! What the fuck do we want to save anyway? Over 41% of our population is below the poverty line! That means they earn 20 bucks a day or even less! Shouldn't we be saving them before?? PLS spending $7million on foreign football players.. Wake up!! We dont even play football! Where are our priorities? When did people stop mattering? Since when is entertainment more important than lives of fellow human beings? I feel desperately inadequate and incapacitated! Does anyone else care?

A little lost!

I walked down that old alley
Bright and sunny
Looking for a long lost past
I walked long
I walked far
And I walked hard
I did it by myself
Then I called my friends
And then I did it alone
Once more
Just to be sure
But there is no turning back
There is no return
It was evening then
The shadows were long
I looked hard
And I looked alone
I tried to catch some old shapes
But those shapes are gone
Long gone
Defeated I sat there
As night fell
And it was dark
The stars came out
It was vicious again
Deep in despair
I let myself go again
If I can’t have the best
If I cant have it again
I will be here every night
With new friends
I smiled that grim smile
And I walked off
For nights I returned
Every night
Days held no meaning
All the light was gone
Gone from everywhere
I need not see it
It did not matter anymore
And so I was this person
Who only came out at night
Nights were beautiful
All the parties, the dresses
The colors, the scent
It didn’t feel the same
It still hurt
The light was lost
But everything shone
The glitter, the glamour
The whispers, the wine
People oh so fine
For so long
And then one night
In all the haze
I sat unfazed
I did not slip
Into the nightmares
On the couch that night
I stayed up all night
From the roof of my dim lit world
I saw the sun rise
I saw it breaking the grey
I saw it break into colors new
Violet, indigo, pink, orange
So many hues
I watched it till it was bright and sunny
I watched it many nights since that day
The colors
They heal
The light it heals
I can never go back
The sun may never feel the same
But it still comes up everyday
There is a new light every morning
And its never the same
But it is still light
And still beautiful
But I am a creature of the night
And it hurts my eyes
Maybe someday
I will love it again
But not just yet
Coz it hurts
Everyday.

Blue !

Is it simple or is it complex?
or are we just out of balance?
it's simple for her, elusive for me.
but is it?
i just opine
Maybe it's just me..

but why do people cry?
party hard when i die!
it is nirvana
it is divine
and it is peace
it's what i seek!

drop me in an ocean
and party on the beach
as the sun sets
pop a beer
and pray for me..

it's not pain
not insane
just a thought
not a lot


Life is pain
You need to fight
to get it right
go bring a light
get me some sight


Love is hurt
reality is crude
man is greed
is He there?
coz life's unfair
who cares?
who knows!

When a smile weeps
And laughter screams
when silence boils
And kindness reeks
And you shut your eyes
Now glows!
it cheers and bows! :)

it never gives you much
just something
to get you by
is it even that much?
truth hurts!


there is fight
inside out
pain insane
everywhere you look
oh yea! He's a crook!
at times...
or is that way?
who cares?
who knows!

Felicity !

[Dear Kasper,

Ofcourse its force fitted and its true that the world we live in is insane. It's like matrix we are aware that we are living a lie and we know that reality is not what it seems... in a way. But does it make sense to stand everyday in front of this picture? Isn't fighting for liberation all the time too tiring? How about just finding some happiness in now?]


There are a million reasons why you should stop trying, there are a million reasons that will make you want to give it all up... happiness is rarely a serendipitous finding it has to be chased all the time, everytime! keep going! :)


I thought of this sometime back… but how do you go about it? A lot has happened over these days that helped me dig deeper and compile it all, so here it is!

Why live like a zombie? There is no fun in it! Whatever life is, it all boils down to trying to be a happy soul. All I want in life is happiness.

If success brings me happiness then so be it. If I can’t work hard enough to reach the level I aim then I’ll check myself and be realistic!
You can’t ever get it all you have to constantly redefine what makes you happy that’s the trick.

Love without strings attached, no expectations. Who said it’s easy? It’s one tough thing to achieve, but if you do, trust me, you won’t be sad again. There’s a lot to be happy about in innocence, forgiveness and elemental love. Learn to love without reason.

Don't judge people. There is some good in everyone. No one is 100% perfect, no one is 100% boring. So you might as well have fun with whatever percentage you end up with!

No one's perfect and that includes you. Learn to laugh at yourself! Don't take yourself seriously all the time. You are just as important as the person next to you. And that works both ways don't be a snob, don't idolize either.

I’ll think about it tomorrow. I can’t think about it now. Turning a blind eye works sometimes too. It sucks a little though and and might come back later. But at times you got to play this game of filing away the bad for later and opening your eyes at the right moment. I’ve been playing with this too. Scarlett taught me this one. ;)

I constantly doubt if there is a god somewhere. I’ve seen good things happen inexplicably just as much as the bad things it can’t all be circumstantial I feel sometimes… so how can you be happy if you know there is a god somewhere and there is so much injustice everywhere. Faith? That’s knotty isn’t it? I’ve learnt to file it somewhere at the back of mind and fire myself up to do something about it or just use it to grow as a person, after all it’s not always something you can change. A lot of times it is and then if you are doing something about it or even trying there is a lot to be happy about. Again if you don’t get attached to results ! Learn to have fun in the process. Find joy in trying.

A smile on your face puts a smile on mine. That’s another way to stay happy. I find joy in other people’s joy as well. Anger and jealousy are totally overrated get used to this you’ll find it tough staying angry. It’s just so much more blissful the otherway round. Forgive, forget and learn. Oh! No one says you have to be a douche bag, lash out if it’s something you can’t overlook. But don’t take it to heart. Straighten it there and then. Put up a good fight and get it right out of your system don’t let it broil your state, don’t let it ferment ;) Forgive and forget after wards too. Be selfish that way. (And so gray is the color to relate!)

Learn to forgive yourself sometimes too. As impossible as it may sound right now its really needed at times!

It’s a two way trick and you play it safe, you aren’t guilt ridden if it turns out there is a god! And if life is inconsequential existence then you had your fun anyway! Sounds calculated? Well, it’s a crazy world what’s a girl to do?

And then of course if nothing works there is always friends, movies, books, trekking, camping, scenic beauty, leg pulling, sports and beer! Enough to keep a seeker happy without bothering about any of the aforementioned lecture series! :P

Then again, if you keep it simple and believe that life is nothing but pulse in time inexplicable and senseless then just party till the end. But it’s the hardest thing to believe! Isn’t it?

So many gray areas tackled but it still feels incomplete. I guess it’s an endless exercise will keep updating as I grow ;) signing out for now! Stay happy! :)

Solitary anyone?

Sure it pains to be alone, friends, love and laughter are so much better! Try different personalities or enjoy sticking to one and enjoy there reactions, be plain observant or be gregarious, it’s always fun. But their is a beauty to solitude I see it now, and then it eludes me. But it’s always there waiting to be unwrapped. The greatest souls were made in solitary confinement Mandela, Gandhi (oh, there was good in him despite the endless debate) . Introspection, refinement and growth they all require it. Keep yourself sane in all the loneliness, grow from your thoughts and be with them. You could end up a bitter hermit or you could end up a loving soul.. guide it right :)

One of my first poems started with this tiresome battle it goes like this…

VOID


Alone in my sorrow
Alone in my battles
I stand alone
I walk alone

In a crowded street
I stand alone
The vastness around
leaves me cold
A memory to hold
A moment to unfold
Is all I ask
I yearn for the winter sun
The mindless chatter that kept us close

The sky so gray
The leaves falling by
The rain pours down
There is no joy
There is no one

Where do I look for strength when I am low?
What do I hold onto when things go wrong?
My pain is mine
My losses are mine
My sorrow is mine
And it gives me strength
To face the world
To rise above
To breakaway from the common mould
I take this pain
I keep it close
And it gives me strength


At home in my loneliness
At home in my soul
In this void
I find myself

Cracks ;)

~ LIFE is a game
Some play chess
Some play tennis
Eitherway it’s a menace !

~ successful first
effective later
that's the way
IF they have there way...

I wonder sometimes...

When did a stone become more important than life?

Where did the simplicity in our hearts go?

Where is the innocence and the wisdom that comes with it?

Why are the lines between right and wrong so blurred?

When did right become something that a circumstance justifies?

Why are things grey? Why not white? Why did we stop trying? When did we give in? If you could go back in time and undo that moment, would you? Would you like to start over? Is there any regret anywhere anymore? Or does everyone feel right and justified? I wonder sometimes…